I, at the age of thirty-three Earth years, asked my mum for permission to stay up late at night because that is when I get the most work done.

This is a pattern I find myself in a lot. I know what works for me personally, but I then don’t do it because it doesn’t match what society in general is doing. I then wonder why I feel inauthentic, and why I am no closer to achieving my goals.

I am a night owl. I am most productive by the light of a few tealight candles and a rocket-shaped lava lamp, while the rest of the world is sleeping peacefully and therefore not messing with my energy…as weird as it sounds, I can feel other people being awake nearby, and it makes me completely unable to relax. I then go to bed at 4am satisfied with what I’ve achieved, yet feeling guilty for having been up all night.

The alternative to this for me is going to bed at 11pm, tossing and turning until 2am anyway because sleeping at night is apparently not what I’m programmed for, and then still feeling guilty for staying up too late.

So now I’m embracing the darkness, I’m embracing the loss of morning, and I am feeing so much more energised.

I am giving myself permission to do things wrong. To do things in the wrong order, with the wrong tools, at the wrong time of day, because I am not everyone else, and the 9-5 world simply doesn’t work for me.

I couldn’t concentrate during the day today, so I didn’t force myself. I took myself down to the beach and collected washed-up bits of plastic from the sand (and got mauled by a very affectionate, very sandy French bulldog), and now I’m about to start a new story that I’m really excited to write.

If you’re reading this and you need permission to live life your own way, this is your permission, and I want to hear all about how much your life improves!

These are called nurdles, and collecting them is really soothing for me.
Check out https://www.nurdlehunt.org.uk/